Welcome to my first installation of my ‘Sunday Natter’ errrbody. You may have seen in my new year blog goals post that I fancied taking a step forward and creating a weekly post with the same, contributed theme. With great thought I’ve decided on a chatty type of post where I can give my opinion on daily thoughts, and it’s open for everyone else to have their say too. As there’s been so much bad news in the world lately I didn’t want to start my series off with a long, ranting, negative post (which I could easily compose when I’m in the mood) so I agreed on a post you can still contribute to but which contains some lightweight comedy for you to remember and have a little giggle over.
We all have those terrible, cringeworthy imagined memories we shudder at from the mere flashback of them. As the years go by, trends change but you can’t help but look back and think “what the hell was I doing” – especially in the hair and beauty department. If there was such thing as going back in time and giving yourself a reassuring heads up that you’re doing it all wrong then life would be a breeze but unfortunately, that’s not possible so you have to embrace the mistakes and learn not to follow your younger self’s instruction guide ever again. For me, there’s plenty of regrets and to narrow it down to just ten was difficult but I managed and I hope you can relate!
1) Damaging and experimenting badly with your hair.
To the extreme. From dying your already dead bleached yellow blonde hair to straightening (and even taking your straighteners to school, did anybody else do this?) your already poker straight hair to the point your frazzled ends are wincing for air. Oh, how pleased I am I saw sense; ditched the god awful front quiff, swept fringe and overly layered hair and recognised what actually did suit my face shape.
2) Over plucking eyebrows.
This was a firm horrific time in my life. It seems I didn’t know when to stop and now I’m suffering big time (damn you eyebrows that never grow). Getting rid of near enough all hair and/or leaving a thin hook/line with a small arch across your brow bone which represents a tadpole (or that male reproductive cell) wasn’t even pressed about as though it was the norm which to this day, still appalls me. Raise your hand if you’re guilty as sin!
3) Neon shimmer eyeshadow and frightful eyeliner.
Why, oh why did we ever think this was a good idea? Bright blue, pink and silver eyeshadow was my favourite, with an added straight appliance of eyeliner parallel from the corner of my eye which looked as though it had been drawn on with a ruler (see monstrous evidence here). If that wasn’t bad enough, this carried on for another few years and my eyelids continued to be drowned in creamy glitter.
4) Taking your Mizz magazine lipgloss with you wherever you went.
Please tell me I wasn’t the only one who religiously bought the Mizz and Sugar magazine every week and was filled with delight when another tacky unbranded lipgloss was attached to the front? Note to teenage self: there’s only so many times you can apply the clear gloss until you realise it does nothing to your lips, only magnetises your hair when it’s windy (oh, the annoyance).
5) Glitter mascara. And hair mascara. Where on earth did that come from? It did not make you cool or sexy, it just made you look as though you’d been in a fight with a unicorn.
6) Over concealing. Unfortunately with teen years comes hormones and some pesky pre pubescent spots. All is well if you find the right shade and quality to cover up but loading a ton of cheap concealer over the same scabby spot did not look pretty in the slightest.
7) Making sure your makeup matches your outfit.
Obviously this is my way of sarcasm. Something tells me a vibrant hot pink lipstick does not pair well with your long red top, your circled belt tied round the bottom and your turn up jeans (I swear this is all I wore around 9 years ago!). Having a mismatch of makeup with your clothes can work but only when you know how to work it.
8) Buying any sort of foundation without swatching.
Walking into a drugstore was much easier back then. The decision was made by what foundation was A) the nearest to the entrance or B) on offer (usually it ended up being the ever so popular Dream Matte Mouse). That orange toned face was represented down to a tee, as was the miscoloured unblended curve along your jaw line. I even went all out and wore Rimmel Instant Tan Sun Shimmer on my complexion in my extremely younger days but once again, it was never pointed out. Please, future parents, if your daughter appears to be glowing with Wotsit coloured skin, tell them politely that they may want to consider another approach.
9) Makeup wipes and no skincare routine.
Okay, I admit this is the most recent mistake of mine but at least my knowledge has improved. 99p face wipes with no added benefits and applying makeup over an unmoisturised face which most likely still had yesterday’s makeup smeared in is a real problem. Now I’ve become a bit of a bacteria freak, that makes me feel a tiny bit sick.
10) Deciding going cheap is the only option.
Me and my group of friends had a nickname when we were younger. I won’t release the embarrassment but I will say it had the word ‘market’ in it. The reason for this is because it was guaranteed I would get near enough every piece of makeup from the £1 basket in my local market. Either that, or Bodycare (oh, those witchy square false nails were a dream back in the day). Looking back, I’ve come a long way. Who’d ever thought I’d only settle for expensive makeup when I used to go hunting the market makeup stalls. I wish I could have banged my head against a brick wall (not literally, obviously) and ordered my 13 year old self not to abuse your face and then maybe I wouldn’t cover said (and more grown up) face in shame when the old photos are fished out.
Do you have any of your own cringeworthy mistakes to add to the list?