The Sunday Natter: Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves

(totally irrelevant picture to topic ratio but you can never go wrong with flowers, right?)

Following on from last week’s post; the fury of women being dictated for their vanity choices, I felt it was only right for me to continue my opinionated discussion of something relatively similar to the points I was previously making. Today’s Sunday Natter is allll about the assumptions and attitudes revolving around the efforts of a woman and just how irritated it makes me feel when I come across a genuinely believed reference that it’s in a woman’s nature to think about someone else in order to feel good and look good for themselves. Now, I’ve got to be extra careful on how I word this so I don’t have the issue of offensive statements on my back but it’s guaranteed if you ask a member of the public whether they believe what a woman decides is majorly influenced by what’s ideal in a man’s eyes, the answer will be yes. Without a doubt, society’s mentality IS shaped around men’s liking and it’s really really pitiful.

Believe it or not, we don’t need anyone’s approval to feel beautiful and worthwhile. Although it’s nice to be complimented by the one person you are connected to; being a singleton, I’m used to going out of my way to boost my own confidence. I don’t depend on a guy for my self esteem. Just because I’m dressed up in all the glamour that’s taken hours of tearing my hair out to get the perfected eyeliner flick, doesn’t mean I automatically have to work my attempts at pleasing a man, nor does it indicate that I’ve decided to spend hours in front of the mirror purely to satisfy a man’s tastes. Not for one second when I’m walking round Topshop in circles trying to pick out the best dress for the occasion do I stop for a second and think about whether this will meet the standards of the males present. When us women are asked “who are you getting cute for?” or “who are you trying to impress?” it’s borderline insulting. I’m doing it for myself, by myself; I don’t have anyone to impress, I want to feel sexy on my own account, for my composure and happiness. No matter how needy you may believe a lady is (and that’s what they are, a lady) we always find the time to put on a pair of stiletto heels, admire our magically lengthened legs and dazzle ourselves – the bold combo of words meaning not to give men an open invitation to ogle. I enjoy feeling contently pretty, even if it’s just for the night, and only when I’m feeling 100% assured with myself does it then lead on to letting a man have his say. 

A large fraction of the comments on social media take me by surprise on a daily basis but there’s always one that makes me want to turn off to all existence. This one I’m talking about in particular was from a very obvious immature boy who reckoned a woman pampers themselves and indulges in some beauty treats to aesthetically charm another person. It reads ‘do lasses get there nails done to impress other lasses or something because in my 22 years of life I’ve never witnessed any lads be like “fuck me mate ave you seen the nails on her” haha’ (wrong grammar term used which makes the matter even worse). Ah, well done, you’ve figured us out to a tee *rolls eyes viciously*. When will common sense drill in? Why the hell do we need to jump into a scenario of whether or not somebody else will be complacent before we go ahead and take action. I hope him, and the 60+ people who liked and agreed learn the principles of stupidity before the empowerment of women is used against his views. 

Those articles often circling around social media are another trigger for my I’m-a-strong-independent-woman-who-don’t-need-no-man outlook. ‘Top trends loved by women, hated by men’ – it’s a good thing women don’t dress or implement popular style to please men, then. If I feel comfortable with a self-expression that so happens to be on trend, I’ll continue to interpret that until I, and I only, aren’t digging it anymore. ’10 Girly Things That Your BF Wants You To Ditch’ – first of all, the term girly is a terribly poor way to describe an apparent sin that a GIRL naturally succumbs to. Secondly, if my ‘BF’ even thought he had that level of control over my personal decisions, he’d be the one ditched. Then there’s the snide comments from a number of your average males on a comparison photo, or a photo showing a transformation – “I preferred the before”, “the top one looks way better” *sigh*. Using your preferences against a woman as a majority not only promotes susceptibility but it pretty much confirms we really don’t care. 

I’m tired of this patriarchal perception that a woman’s only sole purpose is to appeal to a man’s needs and desires, to be put on earth to be here for their fulfilment. The way we act, the clothes we wear, the length and colour of our hair and nails are all just a tiny part of who we are. We don’t need a man’s approval and for a man to believe in lessoning your self worth is foolish and derogatory. Ladies, regardless of what anyone says, it’s about finding your inner self. Building yourself stronger and creating a positive lifestyle by disregarding the mindlessness. Nobody has a higher priority of telling you what you can or can’t do. 

So, guys, I’m sorry if you’re miffed at the fact I’m fixed up with the brightest lipstick, the heaviest eye makeup and the flattering of dresses, and am still ignoring your cries for attention. Our bodies aren’t yours, they’re ours. It doesn’t signify anything. We don’t live and breathe you and if you don’t like that, it’s time to move on, put your egos aside and realise that what we’re actually doing is embracing our individual qualities. And for those men who already do that, please carry on doing so. You’re upping my faith, helping to shift attitudes and I apologise on behalf of anyone stereotyping your gender. I promise I’m always fighting for equality on both sides.

Tell me your thoughts! Have you ever experienced this personally?


Bridie x

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